Day 27

Good afternoon everyone. Finally got some time to type to you all. This day is going to be dedicated to how I can handle the "loneliness" over here. From what Nicole was saying how its been hard to go to school 3 hrs away from her adorable family, Im gonna explain on how I am able to handle being away from my loved ones half way around the world. It all started when I left for Boot camp several yrs back. The first 3 weeks were my loneliest ones by far in my life as of today. I remember tearing up around my bunk buddy every other night telling him why I shouldnt be here and how Im not fit to do this "soldier thing". How I miss my family, my security "living at home" and missing being able to do my own thing. Well like I said, that lasted about 3 weeks or so. After a month of being at boot camp, it got a bit better and by the time I graduated, I felt like a new man, being able to do my own thing and taking care of myself. Then came AIT, bid farewell to that after 2 months and went to California. My first month over there was similar to what it was for me in the beginning of bootcamp except that I was 3,000 miles away from my family this time. The distance was the reason why I was like that this time around. I learned to cope with that by making friends fast over there. After awhile, I was getting used to being on my own and doing my own thing. I was over there till the summer of 2003 and came back to the east coast. Only an hour and a half away from my home town this time around. After being on my own for so long, I didnt visit much. Maybe once a month or so. I do regret not coming home as much but at the same time, my family now come to an understanding that I am my own person at my age. Still young, but I havent lived at home for 6 yrs. As much as they wanted to see me, they completely understood at the same time. Now Im in Afghanistan, a half a world away! lol Im not saying that it is NOT hard being away from everyone, but its alot easier since Ive been away for so long on my own. In other words, the experience of not being around is what makes me keep going over here. Im used to being on my own now and I know I can only count on myself over here. Sure their is my chain of command and even a few aquaintences that Ive met but really its just me. Another thing that keeps me going over here feeling great about myself is helping out my mother. I usually dont spill out my personal stories to strangers or even people that I know very often but I want to tell you about my mother and I. We have a unique relationship. We talk like once a week but when we talk, its like the best talk. Growing up in lower class all of my life, it was tough on my family. Single mother with 2 kids (I know you can relate Dyan). As a kid, you dont realize how good you have it when your mother gives you everything you almost wanted. Christmas gifts, birthdays, etc. She gave us everything that we could ever really want. So as a kid, you dont take into account how much WORK she had to put into us to make us happy. Even dinners. We ate pretty damn good growing up and now I realize how much work and sweat she put into my sister and I. And for that, the least I can do is thank you and even give her some money when I can. Since Ive been in Afghanistan, I set up an allotment for her $500 every two weeks. Yes, thats $1000 a month but thats about how much extra I get for being over here so it doesnt really hurt me much at all. And its definetly worth it, every cent. My mom just about freaked out when I told her my plan, she thought I was nuts. But when that first deposit came into her account, lets say she believes me now. I started that last month and plan on staying true to what I give her. Since I will not be there for her birthday in Feb and mothers day in May, I plan on taking her to Las Vegas. She isnt a big gambler, but she has mentioned that vacation since I was a teenager so Im going to surprise her with a 7 day vacation there. I was going to go there anyways, so there is no inconvenience whatsoever. Well thats some of my life story in a nutshell. Sorry for boring you with all the info! :) Hope to hear from you all soon